I’ve discovered something about myself that I don’t particularly like.
I’ve always had the lowest tolerance for people lying to me, or breaking my trust. I do not forgive people who do so.
This was never a conscious decision. I didn’t wake up one morning and say to myself, you know what, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive or trust a person who has fallen short of my standards.
God! That sounds so pompous, doesn’t it? I don’t mean to be. Maybe I’m just shy 😛
Anyways. It is just that events in my life have taught me to distrust.
But now I guess I’m adding another item to my list of … Peeves? Issues? Negative triggers?
Betrayal.
And not the deliberate kind either. But the “it just happens that this step I’m going to take for me happens to betray you” sort of thing.
I dissect my reaction into two parts: The logical. The emotional.
The logical part says, “I understand, I even applaud. It makes complete sense, and just because it is ‘me’ at the other end of the stick, I’m not going to let it affect me in any way. We will stay to each other what we always were.
And then there’s this damn emotional part of my being. The part that says, “So, that’s how you treat me? I’m that expendable? It’s so easy to walk away? Fine. See if I care! I’ll leave you to it then.
Did you hear the teenage in me?
I’m sure there was something that triggers this reaction in me. Some pent up residue from my childhood.
But do I really care about the reason?
It is who I am. No apologies. No reasons. No excuses.
I’ve always had the lowest tolerance for people lying to me, or breaking my trust. I do not forgive people who do so.
This was never a conscious decision. I didn’t wake up one morning and say to myself, you know what, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive or trust a person who has fallen short of my standards.
God! That sounds so pompous, doesn’t it? I don’t mean to be. Maybe I’m just shy 😛
Anyways. It is just that events in my life have taught me to distrust.
But now I guess I’m adding another item to my list of … Peeves? Issues? Negative triggers?
Betrayal.
And not the deliberate kind either. But the “it just happens that this step I’m going to take for me happens to betray you” sort of thing.
I dissect my reaction into two parts: The logical. The emotional.
The logical part says, “I understand, I even applaud. It makes complete sense, and just because it is ‘me’ at the other end of the stick, I’m not going to let it affect me in any way. We will stay to each other what we always were.
And then there’s this damn emotional part of my being. The part that says, “So, that’s how you treat me? I’m that expendable? It’s so easy to walk away? Fine. See if I care! I’ll leave you to it then.
Did you hear the teenage in me?
I’m sure there was something that triggers this reaction in me. Some pent up residue from my childhood.
But do I really care about the reason?
It is who I am. No apologies. No reasons. No excuses.
Disjoint Wisdom 