I enjoy living in the belief that I am satisfied with my solitary state of being. But don’t we all live in a perpetual state of “What if?”
What if the earth was flat? What if stars were magical beings, surrounded by pixie dust, laughing at our foibles as we trudged through life. What if everyone actually was on my page.
We are all obsessed with being able to “come out of closet” and show the world the true nature of ourselves, and have everyone accept us for who we are.
But what if? What if I could reverse the idea. What if I could invite you into my closet for a day? What if, instead of showing you my true nature, I could invite you into the bedroom of the house that is my world, and show you not just who I am, but HOW I am. WHAT I am.
What if I could say to you, come, live my life for a day. Come, be me for a day. Walk my walk, think my thoughts, dream my dreams. Cry my tears.
What if I could take a day off from being me, and hire you as the substitute. What would you see?
In a perfect world, you would see me. You would be me. You would become me. You would, dare I say, understand me. You would feel the blisters that have grown on the soles of my feet from walking barefoot through the path that is mine. You would love the scratches that trace across your arms from brushing past the rose filled hedges that line my soul.
In a perfect world, you would come into my life, completely ignorant of the paths that made you become who you are today.
But reality will not allow that. Logic dictates that this just can not be. For if I am inviting YOU into my closet for a day, it is YOU I am inviting, not a mirror image of me. It is you who will be tracking down my paths, not me. You. With all your past and present. You who have walked down your own paths. You who might feel the scratches on my arm, but will feel them On Top Of your own wounds and blisters and warts. You, who will breath in the scent of my rosé lined paths, but will be surrounded by your own tulips that have existed inside you as you have tended a garden I have not seen.
How can I imagine that you will see me as I see me. How can I demand that you leave your being, and become wholly me? It is not logically possible.
The whole concept of a ME and a YOU would lie shattered to even contemplate it. I am me because of my paths. You are you because of yours. I dare not defy reality be tempting to merge your SELF with MINE at the risk of obliterating you.
If I invite you into my closet, it must be with the understanding that you will be bringing a suitcase with you.
Disjoint Wisdom 