I have these tendrils of thoughts roaming wildly around my head, biting and gnashing each other, entwined in a tangled knot as they push and pull and fight against each other.

Each thought persues a different storyline. And each storyline is tied to the other by the mass that is made up of each conflicting emotion.

Responsibilities. Wishes. Dreams. Lists. Actions. Memos.

What I’ve done. What I’m doing. What I must do.

What I want. What I need. What I’ve dreamt of, but know can never have.

The people, the characters that make up each plot, and evolve as one thought leads out from another. The wishes I wish to never have made. The dreams I wish had never been dreamt. Had never been remembered.

I want to take this knot of conflicting story lines, take a pair of scissors to the centre, and start sniping away.

I want to untangle this mess of confusion. I want to be left with nothing but individual strings of stories. Simple. Unadulterated. Separated. Clear.

I want to have one reality have nothing to do with the other. One possibility to not be tied to any other plot.

And maybe, when this knot is cleared, I will be able to take up whatever single string means the most to me, pick it up, and walk away.