A strategy I use to deal with stressful situations is to ignore them.
I know, I know! Don’t start your preaching, y’all! I never said it was healthy or desirable or productive.
But it is what works. It is what gets me through.
I ignore it. I take it up and place it onto one of the shelves at the back of my mind. I index it and file away the card along with all the other cards that make up the catalogue of my brain.
I don’t forget. I never forget. I just put off dealing with it until a situation, a circumstance, an event comes along, and I am forced to take it out and analyze it once more.
And the viewing of it through the lens of this new situation, and the distance that time offers, helps.
~sigh~
We are told that matters unresolved come back to haunt us.
That if you don’t deal with the negatives in your life, they fester upon your soul and leave marks that are indelible.
But doesn’t everything? Every laugh, every tear, every experience leaves a mark; whether desirable or not.
So I am not able to deal with this bullshit at this time. And as there is nothing other than the fear of indelibility forcing me to do so; I choose put it away.
I concede, acknowledge, KNOW, that it is never going away. I just choose to deal with it when I am more able to do so.
Is that so bad a thing.
Is it so wrong that I choose to laugh right now because I am not able to deal with the tears?
And so fucking what if I am never forced to deal with it!?! If no situation, circumstance, event occurs that forces me to look at it again. Is it so wrong that it lies boxed away in that shelf in the back corner of my brain?
I know, I know! Of course it casts a shadow – no matter how light – on the rest of my psyche. But this shadow I can deal with.
I can’t deal with the blackness. I’m sorry. Not now.
For now I choose to laugh. To persevere.
I will curl up into a ball and cry some other day.
I know, I know! Don’t start your preaching, y’all! I never said it was healthy or desirable or productive.
But it is what works. It is what gets me through.
I ignore it. I take it up and place it onto one of the shelves at the back of my mind. I index it and file away the card along with all the other cards that make up the catalogue of my brain.
I don’t forget. I never forget. I just put off dealing with it until a situation, a circumstance, an event comes along, and I am forced to take it out and analyze it once more.
And the viewing of it through the lens of this new situation, and the distance that time offers, helps.
~sigh~
We are told that matters unresolved come back to haunt us.
That if you don’t deal with the negatives in your life, they fester upon your soul and leave marks that are indelible.
But doesn’t everything? Every laugh, every tear, every experience leaves a mark; whether desirable or not.
So I am not able to deal with this bullshit at this time. And as there is nothing other than the fear of indelibility forcing me to do so; I choose put it away.
I concede, acknowledge, KNOW, that it is never going away. I just choose to deal with it when I am more able to do so.
Is that so bad a thing.
Is it so wrong that I choose to laugh right now because I am not able to deal with the tears?
And so fucking what if I am never forced to deal with it!?! If no situation, circumstance, event occurs that forces me to look at it again. Is it so wrong that it lies boxed away in that shelf in the back corner of my brain?
I know, I know! Of course it casts a shadow – no matter how light – on the rest of my psyche. But this shadow I can deal with.
I can’t deal with the blackness. I’m sorry. Not now.
For now I choose to laugh. To persevere.
I will curl up into a ball and cry some other day.
Disjoint Wisdom 