Disjoint Wisdom

It’s what I need – I think

It is a strange state to be in
When wishes to be experiencing
A THING
Without expending the mental effort
To even decide
In any which way
What that THING should be

What I wish for

Is not a particular experience.

Nor one that is categorized
Into a well labeled bucket.

The wish – The desire – The need
Is for the THING                              
To occur –                               
Perfectly planned                                                                                         
And handed to my life
Without my being
Even made aware
That a transaction has occurred.
I wish to be half way into it
Before the realization even dawns
That it is possible that
Right NOW
Is a THING.

Now
I cannot have you supposing
Or conjecturing
About the mood of
This THING

Nor upon the exact y-coordinates              
That would chart its path.
Happy. Cheerful. Hope-laden.
Or bleak. Dull. Stuffed with reality.
Nor even
About the shades and shadows
And light and air
It could cast upon
The definition of me.
It is the happening
The occurring                          
And the knowledge thereof                                                         
That I crave.
Not the specificity of the effect
Nor the aftermath
And all it may entail.

Now, one may argue
With fact and force
That life is by its very definition
Nothing but one THING followed
By the next.

Breaking a red light
Placing ones foot on a bed
Of soft green grass.
Heartache. Loss. Joy. Pain.
Each instant
Whether acknowledged by
Our internal data processor or not
Is
(In itself, or a part of)
A THING.

Tue. Granted. Acknowledged.

But I counter
That if this is the argument
You offer
Then you have failed
Within your life
To distinguish between
The everyday things
And a THING
(the one in all caps)

For as I see it
(and feel free to disagree)
An everyday thing
Is just that.
An everyday thing.
It guides. Molds. Impacts.
And on and on and on.

But the THING
That of which I speak.
Is so –
Profound? No.
Present? Not quite.
The best I can say is
It is filled with a sense of self-identity
Such that it makes us aware
Of its significance
Beyond of just the effect it has.

Sigh.

My words fail me
(As they are wont to do)

All I know. Feel. Want. Wish for.
Is to be presented with a THING
(she says with a grimace)

disjointwisdom

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