My brain is numb
From lack of ideas
And an unwillingness
To change this state.

I wish to revert
To a cocoon - 
Not out of any fear of the outside - 
But just because.

I was afraid to voice this - 
I was afraid to feel this way
Worried
That it was a remnant of
My dark days.

(That still at times,
rear their ugly head
But are quashed - mostly
Mercilessly -
Bu drugs. I love drugs)

I didn't want that darkness
To invade my now.

But this is different.
And
It has taken me a while
To recognize the difference.

Some days
Some times
Anyone
Everyone
Just wants to goof off
To play hooky
To evade the everyday.

Today is one of those days.
I wish I could go away
From this place
From this now.

And frolic in
My whatevers.
And read
And paint
And enjoy the numbness

That is not a dark
But a natural part
Of a normal
Everyday
Life.